Being Visible

Well, I had to take a break from weeding for a few days, because I had a very busy weekend, with being in a children's opera, then bassoon band on Saturday, and in the midst of it, I got to deal with the catastrophe "the roofing project." While I was sad that my tomato plant died due to copious amounts of shingles being dumped on it, that seemed a small death when my kitchen was invaded by 5 inches of water in the night. Pictures here.

My parents own the property we live in, so they came up the morning after the storm to help with clean up and make sure the roofers took responsibility for the mess. While they were here, my step-father, Jim, decided to go out and pull some weeds for a while. He ripped out my "identity."

So much for that.

And then it got really stinkin' hot and humid, so I didn't go back out for a few days.

Anyway, this morning was beautiful, and there was nothing on the calendar. No excuses. Better get back out there.

My project today was the "field" of crab grass (bad attitude) and other various tall weeds (some taller than my head) across the middle section of the last terrace I worked on.

I put on my iPod, and worshiped while pulling out my rotten attitude, which made the work a lot easier.

My terraces are situated right on a very busy street. Sometimes I'm embarrassed going out there to work. What are people thinking as they drive past? I often don't look very dignified, and more than once, I have fallen on my keester as I pulled out a particularly stubborn root.

Then I think about when I see other people working in their yards. I don't ridicule them in my mind. I admire their dedication and hard work (and think, "oh, I should get to work on my yard"). I also recognize that their yards look so nice because of their discipline to get out there and work in them daily.

Of course, my terraces don't look tended. Are people thinking, "Well, it's about time somebody got out there to clean up that mess," or "Glad I don't have to do that job!"

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what other people think, even though they are watching. It's a job that has to be done, so I do it.

Then the Lord planted this thought in my brain: being in Christian leadership means you're visible. And when you let weeds infest your soul, it shows. So when you have to clean up the mess, it's obvious to everyone who looks to you for leadership. But it needs to be done, and you can choose to be transparent as you go about the cleanup process, or you can try to do it at night when no one else can see.

I'm thankful to be in a place where even though those in authority over me have ripped out what I would like to claim as my identity, and even though a bad attitude has sprung up, along with some other monumentally huge weeds, those who see me and look to me for leadership are filled with grace.

After all, we all have our own weeds to pull.

Naming My Weeds

Well, as day #3 of my hard push to get the weeds out of the terraces begins, I find myself not thinking about the junk that others throw on you, as I expected while roofers were working overhead (although I am heartbroken over the loss of my very promising tomato plant).

Instead, I am once again introspective about the state of my heart as I think of these terraces as a metaphor for my spiritual state.

Here's what I got done on Day 1:

Maia is my helper today, as Xander is on a sleepover. Otherwise, she'd still be in bed.

Here's what I got done on Day 2:

And here's what I have to do today:

Well, I don't plan to do the whole strip all the way across. This is the longest of the terraces, and I plan to take 3 days to finish it.

As I was pulling weeds today, I was noticing that different weeds have different mechanisms in place for survival.

Some, like this creeping something or other, which I'm going to call Insecurity, put down one main root, then send out runners in all directions. They lay low, and are almost undetectable, then one day you look and they've completely obscured the ground, a bush, or choked another plant:

This section of rocks is all covered in creeping Insecurity. It's even flowering in some places.

Others, like crab grass (which fittingly, I'm going to think of as Bad Attitude), can make the nice grass in your lawn (MY lawn doesn't have much nice grass, but I'm sure yours is much nicer), look just plain ugly. It sprawls every which way, spreading out on the ground and then putting out seed heads and re-seeding itself quickly.

Sometimes it plants itself in the midst of a healthy plant, like this:

You can't even see the original bush here. This is what it looked like after I pulled out all the weeds:

It was hard to see the difference between the shoots of the bush and shoots of the weed. I pulled a lot of the bush out as I ripped out the weeds. God's a WAY better gardener than I am (after all, things GROW in his Garden- intentionally), and I'm reminded of the story in the Bible about the wheat and the weeds...

Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?'

" 'An enemy did this,' he replied.
"The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'

" 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' " (Mt. 13:24-30)

Crab grass (Bad Attitude) it probably the most popular weed on my terraces. At least it was today. Every terrace seems to have its own identity... I'm not sure what to make of that. Anyway, my attitude has clearly colored everything I've felt or experienced lately. I'm not usually a negative person, but I'm kind of cynical sometimes, and I learned a long time ago that my propensity for sarcasm is hurtful and not exactly appreciated by some in my social circle.

This plant- some kind of thistle, but I can grasp it and pull it out with my gloves on- milks as it is broken. I don't know why, but it's kind of weird.

So back to that original plant I referenced earlier- here's a baby one (babies are always cuter):

This is what filled the terraces when we first arrived. This is the plant we took 2 summers to kill off. It doesn't look that threatening here, does it? It's not. But it does get rather large if left to itself. So what's my pet name for this plant? My Identity. Yes, it's aggressive. Yes, it can get bigger than it should and run away from it's borders. But it's my identity. It was planted long ago, it has roots that run deeper than the weeds all around it because it goes deeper than that landscape fabric.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.

So for now, I'm leaving the remnants. When I run across this bush in a place that looks right (not along the edges), I'm letting it live. So my work for today looks like this:

Along the way, I could see some of the junk left from former years of work. Sometimes I ran across a stump of something that doesn't live there anymore.

I can't pull them out, and can't knock them down any farther. Are they a symbol of a stronghold that has been conquered or a dream that has died? Well, it could be either. Depends on whether I'm feeling melancholy or victorious.

It's hard work, but at least I don't have these guys' job!

Yard Work- Day 2

I've decided that my terraces are a metaphor for the state of my heart right now.

When I moved here, I didn't like what I saw. While it was lush and full, it was out of control, spiky, pushy and aggressive.

So I spent a couple years stripping things down to the basics. The structure is there, and the groundwork. But everything that was living was ruthlessly hacked away.

But nothing new was planted...


"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation." Mt. 12:43-45

I'm afraid I left my heart swept clean and put in order, but did not fill it with something to replace all that I had cleaned out. Oh sure, I've done some Bible studies, and women's groups, but my heart has petered out on spiritual matters, and I feel so disconnected right now. When I look out on those terraces, I see the state of abandonment my heart feels.

Today, I tackled the smallest of the levels. It's in the shade, and only these short little stubby weeds were growing there. I soon discovered that they stuck to my gloves fairly insistently. Those weeds were also on the level I did yesterday, but I didn't pay them much mind. I was too concerned about getting out the really big weeds. Now I look back on what I did yesterday, and it doesn't look finished at all!

It's funny how we overlook the little sins in our lives when the big ones are so OBVIOUS. But the little ones have a tendency to stick to you... They also seem harmless when they're little, but often eventually grow into something rather huge and ugly.

The roofers showed up today, so tomorrow I get to deal with junk that other people have thrown into my life...

This Is Getting Ridiculous

OK, so I'm not much of a gardener. Or for any kind of yard work, really. In the 18 years that Matt & I have been married, more things have died in my various yards than have flourished. One year, I planted a tomato plant that yielded one tomato. One. And it wasn't ripe yet when the frost hit, so I had to dig it up and bring it inside to finish ripening. It was a good tomato. A lot of effort for one tomato, though.

However, I'm apparently awesome at growing weeds.

Well, it was a rainy summer morning here today, and I didn't have much on the agenda, (and it's starting to look like our house is abandoned), so I decided to bite the bullet and go pull some weeds.

Let's just start by showing you what kind of "yard" I have:

This is the duplex we live in and attempt to manage the property for.

This picture was taken in April, while the weeds were apparently still lying in wait for the fun to begin. We don't have a "yard" really, there's a little postage stamp of green that we mow once a month or so, but for the most part, we have these terraces.

When we moved in, 3 years ago, the terraces had some neglected bushes that apparently were supposed to be cut back every winter, and hadn't been for many, many years. They were out of control, so we spent the following 2 summers killing all the vegetation in the terraces with the thought that we could plant something new there. Something VERY low maintenance, but pretty. Maybe we could do something like the business across the street has... it always looks so nice.

Nice shade trees, day lilies, those lavender spiky things, and in the fall, beautiful mums.

This summer, we hardly have any remnants of the original bushes, but the weeds have taken over with a vengeance.

So I went down in the terraces to pull weeds today, in a sour frame of mind.

"Why CAN'T I be good at music and lousy at yard work? Who says you have to be good at everything?.... grumble, grumble grumble...."

After an hour, I surveyed the work I had done...

empty terrace

pile of pulled out weeds

...and how far I had to go.


(our property line ends about where that tall evergreen is WAY back there...)

How discouraging!

"This is beyond me. There's just no way I can do this on my own. I'm going to have to try to figure out how to budget in a landscaper... This is ridiculous.... grumble... grumble... grumble."

You might notice the enormous thistle in the foreground of this picture. I'm estimating it at about 4 feet high and 3 feet wide.

Here's a closer look:

Yeah.... AND the bees thought it was great.

Well, I tackled it. I had to use a variety of implements to get the job done. It's not easy demolishing something you can't touch. I got in with a long-handled shovel, knocking it down at the base, then was able to stomp it into submission before violently severing the stalks from their root system with a hacksaw. Next, I had to figure out how to get it into a yard waste bag!

Anyway, I got the job done, and though I wasn't in a much better mood, I did have a sense of accomplishment.

take THAT, you bitter root! (and some Round Up too)

...that is, until I looked at how far I have to go.

Tomorrow's task: another 2 hours. However far it takes me.

So what's the point of all this ranting? I learn a lot about myself as I do yard work (besides the fact that I hate yard work).

Things like,

• ignoring weeds is like ignoring sins. They only get bigger.
• somewhere along the line, someone was thinking ahead, and laid some landscape fabric under all those rocks. The weeds are MUCH easier to pull because they can't put down deep roots. It's kind of like laying a foundation of faith for generations to come. I'm thankful for praying grandparents.
• Often times, God has something to teach you through the things you dislike the most. Where do I need to grow? Let's start with daily discipline... if I had been out picking out weeds every day since that first picture in April- instead of just once- things wouldn't have gotten out of hand.
• and sometimes, an insurmountable task is really a possibility, you just have to take it on and not quit. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

I (well, WE) got a new camera for Christmas!!

I was a little concerned that my new camera (a Canon Power Shot) wouldn't be compatible with my OLD computer- but I plugged it in, and it worked just fine. So- here's some pictures of our Christmas holiday adventures.

After church on Christmas Eve, we drove to Yankton to my parents' house, where Santa had already been by 8:00! The kids got to open 1 gift each (that's when I got my new camera), and their stockings.

Maia had a Princess camera in her stocking that says things like, "Oh! You look wonderful!" (particularly funny on Christmas morning when none of us looked wonderful), and "You're as pretty as a princess!" (Which it seemed to say to Xander EVERY time Maia took his picture)


Santa ALWAYS leaves socks and underware in our stockings at Grandma's house. Here's Xander proving that he's Grandpa Bruce's boy at heart.


Maia was thrilled to get a Hannah Montana Barbie- another one (she got one from Uncle Casey & Aunt Heidi too). This one sings.


Xander was excited to get "Prince Caspian" on DVD. Funny because the first Narnia movie was playing on Grandma's TV when we got there.


I think this picture could have happened in 3 different variations. The boy is OBSESSED with Bionicles.


We had a nice Christmas Day- got to watch Grandpa go out on the deck in his bare feet and chase the turkeys away- but one was really confused by the plexiglass on the deck... Matt took some video with our new camera, but I'm going to have to try to figure out how to upload it.

We had our traditional steak dinner, and WAY too much Christmas goodies.

We had to go home early on Friday morning so that Matt could work 8 hours, then the kids & I picked him up after work and we headed to Matt's folks for the next 24 hours or so.

Xander hit the jackpot there- I think his favorite gift of the year: The Bionicle Movie!

He watched it twice in the time we were at Grandma Georgie's.

Maia got some Princess art supplies from her artist grandparents. But the pictures all look terrible. (The ones I took, not the artwork she made... better make that clear!)

Maia & Xander had great fun with their cousins, Cassie & Lexi, and Grandpa Bruce, going out sledding in the pasture. Luckily, the extreme cold spell we had from the week before had broken, but the day before we got there, almost all the snow melted. The kids found a way to sled anyway, and had great fun!





Cassie whimped out first, so I didn't get any pictures of her, but Grandpa got in on the action too!

Christmas Program at Mercy

We had a fun Christmas program Sunday morning. It was postponed from the week before due to extreme windchills after dark. We did it at the morning service, and almost had to cancel it altogether because of windchills again. Winds at 25-20 mph, with temps in the -15º range, and windchills ranging down to -45º. Nice.

Anyway, we had to substitute a few people in, but only 3. Not too bad, and we had almost enough kids to cover the parts (two youth group members had to reprise their roles as Mary & Joseph from last year... They're getting too big for the costumes!)

So here's some pictures:
The manger scene, taking advantage of projection to provide our only set.


This is Slater, who more than anything wants to be a rock star like our guitar player, Nich. So when there was a cool guitar solo in the pre-recorded music, I gave him the opportunity to have an air guitar solo. It was cute.


Look at our pretty little flock of angels. Two of them had purple fairy wings on, which I decided was OK. Doesn't Maia look adorable? She did such a good job.


I spent hours making these goofy wisemen hats, which of course, the kids thought were stupid. TOO BAD! WEAR THEM ANYWAY! :)


Xander (left) & Josh (right) were archangels, so they got shiny costumes. Xander was Gabriel this year, a cool dude, trumpet playin' angel who appeared to the shepherds. Apparently, he was too cool to open his mouth to sing this year.


The whole flock of angels...


They kind of resemble "A Charlie Brown Christmas" looking up in the air and singing. The words were projected on the back wall for them.

Halloween 08

I made costumes for the kids this year. They went as Wall-E and Eve. This would have been great if we didn't have to explain it to everyone. At least when they were together, Maia's costume was a little easier to figure out. Several people were asking,

Is she a spaceman?
A marshmallow?
A trashcan?

Yeah, we dressed our daughter as white trash for Halloween.

Birthday Boy

Xander celebrated his 9th birthday on Saturday. I was so busy with so many things this week, I decided to "buy" his party this year instead of "making" it. I bought a cake from Hy-Vee, they had a Bionicle theme in their book!

Xander opened his presents from us before I left in the morning (I had to take 2 high school students to competition in Brookings in the morning). This is the best smile I've been able to capture from Xander on film since he was about 4 years old!

This genuine smile occured when he discovered his BIG gift, a Nintendo DS. A combo gift from mom & dad and grandpa & grandma.

Maia helped Dad make a second birthday cake (for the family party in the evening) and really got into licking the beaters, apparently. Goofball.


Xander's friends party was at the Washington Pavilion center for arts and sciences. They had a clay studio theme, where they all got to make pottery and paint it. We'll get the finished product back in a couple of weeks. The kids (10 total including Xander & Maia) got to go to the science center for the last hour of the party. It was pretty easy when someone else provided the structure.



We were very proud of Xander when he agreed to allow his guests to bring a gift for Operation Christmas Child instead of a gift for him. It was a hard choice to make, but the family's gifts more than made up for all the little $10 gifts he would have gotten from friends. And now he has 8 boxes for OCC to take to church this week when they collect them.



As we were waiting for the last of the kids to leave from the party, I got a call from my mom, letting me know that everyone was waiting patiently (it was pretty chilly out) in our driveway for us to arrive.

We continued the party day with a family gathering, including Grampa Bruce, Grandma Georgie, Grampa Jim, Grandma Marilyn, Grandpa Dave, Aunt Rena, and cousins Cassie & Lexi.

Of course, Lexi & Xander disappeared together, so Cassie got to check out Xander's new DS. We bought it used, and it came with Pokemon Pearl, which apparently the former user had gotten all the levels on or something. She was so excited (yes, my 15 year-old niece is a Pokemon junkie- STILL!), that she was playing and texting a friend all at the same time.



Rena says, "Sure, she can't get her math done, but she can multi-task Nintendo and Text Messaging at the same time." What a girl. Everyone's got a special talent!

Monday, Xander chose to spend his birthday money at Target. First he traded in his Gameboy and some old games at a used game shop, then we went to Target, and he got a huge Bionicle set (he didn't build this one in an hour- it's still in many pieces on my table), a Nerf protective cover for his DS, and a DS game, "Lego Indiana Jones."

In all, a great birthday for a great kid!