Cultivating Community

So we have some new neighbors.

I just want to keep one of them for my own. Do you suppose her family would miss her? I think maybe not. She came over to our house the day after they moved in next door, and invited herself in for supper.

During that meal, I learned that in her 7 years, she has lived in 17 different homes. She has 4 siblings, one of whom is a brother who is the reason they were kicked out of their last apartment. "Because he's so bad." (note to self- lock car doors at all times)

She has two older sisters who are supposed to look out for her, but sometimes forget to feed her meals, and a baby brother who's sick all the time. She has a mom who is never home and her dad lives in Florida.

Somebody needs some stability.

I have since fed her several meals, and also made it clear that I'm not feeding her all summer.

Saturday morning, I started the process of working in my rock beds (I'm not wild about these rock beds, see multiple posts from last summer). Just pulling some weeds, and planting a few seedlings that I started indoors this spring.

Within minutes our new little friend skipped over to check out the activity. She enjoyed digging in the dirt looking for worms and bugs. We had a lovely time together. I hope I never forget how to relate to a 7-year-old.

A little while later, her middle sister (11) stopped by and helped out for a while too. Turns out, she's also perfectly sweet, and just as vulnerable and scared as her little sis. She's entering 6th grade this fall, (just like Xander) and doesn't know what school she's going to (because Mom's not happy with the new apartment- which they just moved into 2 weeks ago and is already looking for another one), and is just as nervous as Xander about getting lost and not being able to open her locker. My kid will have the advantage of the Running Start program his middle school offers. Somehow, I doubt this girl's mom is going to sacrifice the $50 to give her the opportunity.

I am reminded of all the little kids I've met over the years working in my yard. Both here and in Indiana.

You can't get to know your neighbors unless you leave the house and hang around the outside of it every once in a while. I am really not much of an outdoorsy person, and while I appreciate a nicely landscaped yard, I don't really seem to have a knack for that myself. But I do love people.

Usually.

It's hard to love them until you get to know them. So, once again, I will be spending a hefty amount of time outside this summer, attempting to make sense of the yard I have, and the neighbors who frequent it.

p.s. wish me luck on my tomatoes this year. I was the recipient of 3 really beautiful looking tomato plant starts from my friend, Loretta. Last year, the roofers killed my promising cherry tomato plant. This year, I'm actually kind of starting a garden (not just planting things in a random sunny spot by the front door). We'll see how it goes!

Community Relations

Ay yi yi! What an up and down week it has been!

Last Thursday, I forgot my children at school.

Yep.

Just forgot to pick them up on the second to last week of school.

Brilliant. I'm an awesome mom.

In my defense, the family that usually drives carpool that day was on vacation, and I forgot. My schedule is such that I usually teach lessons at the house until the kids come home, which is what I was doing when the school secretary called 45 minutes after school had let out. Of course, this other family had been gone for over a week, I should have remembered. It's a weak excuse.

Luckily, my kids have come to accept that sometimes Mom forgets stuff, and they don't hold it against me anymore. The first several times it happened, sure. But not anymore.

Right?

Anyway, Matt had come home to take Maia to ballet, and I had to send him over to pick up both kids with ballet clothes in tow. So, I was surprised when he came in the door before ballet started. He said the Check Engine light in his car had come on and there was shuddering and jerking involved.

That's not good.

So he drove my car to take Maia to dance, and later we had Small Group and kind of needed both cars because I had a meeting elsewhere that night after our group met. So he got in his car, thinking maybe he could nurse it there and back.

Um... no.

White smoke billowing out of your tailpipe is generally a bad sign. LOTS of white smoke. So he turned around and came back within 3 blocks of the house.

Friday morning, we called AAA and had it towed to the place that usually does our oil changes. Mostly a quick lube place, but they do basic mechanic stuff too. Later that afternoon, I get the dreaded news: it's the head gasket. Could be blown, could be cracked. Could range in price anywhere from $1800- $3000 if the have to rebuild the engine.

Our car is a 2001 Aztek. Yeah, he's a beauty. His name is Ike. Here's a picture of him the day we bought him (so shiny!):


And here it is, now that it's Matt's car (6 years later): Note the bicycle-heavy additions of roof rack and multiple stickers and decals.


Yeah, I know Azteks are bulky & strange looking- or you COULD say they have "character!" :) Whatever- it suits us just fine. Fits all our bike and musician-y stuff in that big ol' hatch back.

And no, we did not get the camping kit option that was such a selling point with this particular vehicle in its heyday. We're not really camping people.

Anyway, Blue Book value on Ike is only $4500 right now. Dave Ramsey says the cheapest car you'll ever own is the one you already have that's paid off...but it would be foolish to pour $3000 into a car that's 10 years old. What if the transmission went out next week? Besides that- we don't have $3000. We don't have $300!

My parents started talking to their car dealer friend, and they all started conspiring to get us a different car- but it couldn't come at a worse time of year. I don't work all summer long, which means I don't get paid for 3 months. And we like our weird car. It's got room for all our stuff. And it's nice. I can't imagine we'd find a very nice car on a zero budget.

Well, Friday afternoon happened to be set-up day for 5th grade graduation. I was already reeling from the news about the car, and had been burning the candle at both ends to make a graduation DVD for each of the 26 kids in Xander's class, plus a big performance that I was getting ready for on Saturday. When I went in to help with setup for the evening event, I was kind of a basket case. Linda- one of our praying moms at our school (another volunteer thing that I head up) caught me in the hallway and asked me an unrelated question, then looked at me keenly and said, "Are you OK?"

I said, "Well, I've been better."

I told her about the stupid car situation (I HATE being this stressed out about money), and she said, "We need to just start praying for a car for you. God can do that you know. I have a friend who....(story of miraculous answer to prayer here)"

I stood there on my fragile little thread of faith and said, "Maybe God doesn't do stuff like that for me. It seems like every time I pray for something, the opposite happens these days. So, you could pray for that for me."

That precious woman grabbed me around the neck and prayed for me right there in the hallway of our public school. And I broke into a hundred weepy pieces.

Graduation was fine, and frankly, that night at bedtime, I was still quite bitter at God about the whole stupid money thing. My prayers were ugly and honest.

That evening, Matt tweeted, "Finally sitting still and thinking through our options after my beloved Aztek took a dive today. No cash to fix it or replace it. #whattodo" and got some very kind responses from friends from church. Apparently, Matt knows a guy.

You wouldn't just volunteer to fix a head gasket if you didn't know what you were doing, right?

Anyway, Matt called this guy from our church (who shall remain nameless, as will his shop- per his request). Turns out, he manages a service shop, and he and his wife had long ago decided that they didn't have a ton of money, but car repairs were something they could offer as a way to bless people in need. So when Matt called him and asked, "What's the bottom line? How much are we talking?" He said, "Let's just say it's taken care of."

WHAT?!?

Monday morning, after a busy weekend which involved hauling a sound system and several silent auction items to a neighboring town & back in my VW Beetle (Mäizy, in case you're wondering her name), I called AAA again, and had Ike towed to a different shop. The tow truck guy remembered me (who could forget, right?), and even though it was slightly more than 5 miles, didn't charge me any overage. What a nice guy.

Matty (bless his heart) rode his bicycle everywhere that whole week. On Tuesday, he put in 36 miles on his single-speed mountain bike. On Wednesday afternoon (last day of school- yey!), we got the call from our friend that the car was done, so Thursday, we went over and picked it up.

Then he let us go.

Just like that.

I guess God does do stuff like that for me. What a nice thing to be a part of a community. Matt's been fixing bikes for people in this same manner for years, and I sometimes exchange voice lessons for babysitting & yard work if a student has to pay for his or her own lessons instead of mom & dad picking up the tab. It's really nice to be the recipient of such good will just for being a part of the Body of Christ.

This whole thing was put in perspective that same day, as we learned that Ady, a 4-year-old girl from our church was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. All of us are heartbroken for this family, and though it's a curable disease, the journey ahead will be really awful.

Lord, thank you for the health of my family. I promise to learn my lessons from the little disasters you send my way. Bless my kids and my husband and protect them. Please hold sweet little Ady in your hands and bring your miraculous healing to her body. Thank you for your provision. Thank you for the honor of serving you. Thank you for the blessing of being a part of your Body.


Epilogue:

Oh, so Tuesday afternoon, praying mom Linda came over to me at the skating rink (after-school skating party) and says, "So... any big miracles to report?"

As a matter of fact...

Sort of makes me think about the story in Mark 2 about the paralyzed man whose friends lowered him down through the roof to get to Jesus to heal him. Jesus saw the faith of his friends, and forgave the man and healed him.

I'm pretty thankful for some awesome friends.

New Hobby

My first fear was saying it out loud.

As we were on our little family bike ride this evening, I started to think about the milestone birthday that I'm approaching (NOT THIS YEAR). For many people, turning (gulp, I can't even say it...) forty is a time for reflection on all the things you've wanted to accomplish in life, but haven't gotten around to yet. I seem to be looking upon it (down the lens of a telescope), as my last chance to get fit before I surrender completely to middle age.

Therefore, inspired by former schoolmates who are now running marathons and doing triathlons, and knowing that my running years are FIRMLY in my past due to some old injuries that caused my running career to end- plus I hate running....

I have decided that I'm going to join Matt in his hobby. No, not Star Wars mania, or bizarre confectionery trivia but, you guessed it: cycling. And as my goal (oh boy, here's the part where I put it out there for everyone to see), I am going to follow in my mom's footsteps and ride all of RAGBRAI the year I turn 40.

I have an autumn birthday, I will hit my milestone the day before Thanksgiving NEXT year (let me be PERFECTLY clear about that). I'm typically quite reluctant to share my age... I even had someone ask me if I was a student at USF the other day (she made my day- until an actual student told me I reminded him of a friend's mom). But let's face it. In the world of Facebook, considering I have so many friends from my high school class... we're all going down together next year, and there won't be any secrets anymore!

I think my mom (who also has an autumn birthday) rode all of RAGBRAI both the summer before AND the summer after she turned 40. I was old enough to drive support for her, a position I found suited me quite well. But I guess it's time for me to get out of the car.

So I shared this thought with Matt tonight, and he started getting all excited, of course. Now we can share his crazy passion. Now he has someone to ride with when he does his 5:30 am bike rides! (wait... what?)

We came home from our little family ride, where I was enjoying my cute, but monstrously heavy cruiser bike:
(not exactly a ride-400-miles-in-7-days kind of bike)

So he started looking for road bikes for me. This is the bike that we found that I deemed cute enough to spend money on. Of course, we get the Scheels employee discount, but it's one of those "save up before you buy" kind of deals.

What do you think?

Is that super-cute or what? AND it's Italian. So I can sing arias while I ride. :)

OK, so I'll keep you posted on my progress. This is a spendy hobby, so I'll start with the gear I have, which is a heavy cruiser (super cute) bike, a helmet, sunglasses and a sports bra (I promise to wear more than that when I ride!) We'll build from there.

Mourning into Dancing

The saga of my yardwork continues....

So last weekend, my folks stopped by to drop off the kids, after taking them for the weekend, so we could go hang out at Lifelight. Thanks, Mom & Jim!

Anyway, on Sunday, they came up in time to check out our new church, Embrace, then we ordered Chinese food for lunch, and had some time to kill before going out to see Matt perform with Rachelle Hope on the Triple Shot Stage at Lifelight in the afternoon.

Mom & I went over to the greenhouse, just a few blocks away (I know, DANGER!), where all their perennials were on sale for half off. Fall clearance, I guess. After much piddling around, and talking to a colleague who happens to be a fine gardener herself, we wheeled our wagon out of there with some new stuff to plant. That, along with the cuttings that mom had brought from her yard, meant that my Labor Day was labor-intensive.

So I slept in for a while on Monday morning, then dinked around for a while, and finally got out to start planting somewhere after 10 am.

OK, so this is what I put in the ground: two Burning Bushes (they'll turn bright red in a few weeks).

Fitting, because God spoke to Moses through a burning bush... and God has really spoken to me through this whole process of doing this one thing that I never really wanted to do in the first place. These two bushes will be a reminder that this is where God speaks to me.

We also bought a tree. Not a big one, but I've been wanting to put a tree in here:

(ha! This is a "pre-weeded" picture. It looks much cleaner around there now!)

and not just any tree, I wanted a weeping tree. Ideally, I'd love a weeping cherry, but there's not enough sun to support one there, so we got a Weeping Pussy Willow.


It's pretty small right now, and it won't actually get much taller than this, though it will get wider. Here it is from a distance. Doesn't look too impressive yet!


Today (a week later), I had Matt move some big rocks up onto that level, and will eventually put a bunch of hostas and other pleasant shade-dwelling plants. I would also like to plant something that will drape down over the edges of this rounded terrace layer. This will be the area that reminds me that it's OK to have times of sadness, when you can't see the sun. It will at least look like a quiet place, even though it's very noisy out there right next to that busy intersection that also has occasional train crossings, and ambulances with sirens blaring making their way to the nearby hospital.


OK, so this one, I had to plant somewhere where I will see it frequently, because I LOVE it.


It's some kind of weird hydrangea hybrid called "Twist and Shout." The plant I got is huge, and the soil was treated in such a way that some of the blooms are purple/blue and some are pink. It's just so cute!

This is the symbol of joy for me. I didn't realize when I bought all these that I was symbolizing God turning my mourning into dancing, but look at that! :)

So today when I was out mulching for winter protection from the feet and feet of snow these poor babies will be under for months and months (ugh! Do we have to think about that yet?), and watering, Maia had a neighborhood friend over. "What does this plant mean in the Bible, Mom?" Joy. "What about this one?" Friends. "And the weeds are sin, right?"

I remember symbolism being a pretty abstract concept that I didn't really start to understand until high school American Literature class (thanks, Mr. Arends). So, I don't know if she really gets what's going on in my heart, but she gets that one thing can have two meanings.

If I can teach her that and how to sing harmony, I'll feel like I've instilled at least a little bit of me in her! :)

There's No Place Like Home

I just finished reading Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell. (SPOILER ALERT!) :)

Whew! Most of the books I read (and I read about a novel a week), cover one major event in a person's life. This one covers about 10, and ends with Scarlett in total ruin and devastation (again) after 1024 pages at the ripe old age of 28.

I'll admit, I get tired of cliché endings, and being able to predict what's going to happen next when I read a book. However, I have a crazy need to see redemption happen. And poor Scarlett just kept missing the mark.

Actually, I was kind of reminded a little bit of Hosea in reading this book. Rhett is an interesting character (and NOT an analogy to our loving God, but he does show a pretty close representation of unconditional love mixed with human failings). He confesses at the very end of the book that he's loved Scarlett since the first moment he laid eyes on her when she was 15 years old. "But I couldn't let you know it. You're so brutal to those who love you, Scarlett. You take their love and hold it over their heads like a whip."

Rhett does everything he can to try and convince Scarlett that he loves her- in his own unique, sardonic, bullying way- but he would never tell her. She wasn't ready to hear it. She would have used it against him, he was right. But his confession of love at the end of the book was heartbreaking because he ran out. Out of energy, out of desire, out of love for someone who continually took the gift he had to give for granted and squandered it over and over again.

People aren't like God. They cannot stand up to our need for a savior. Only God can do that for us.

Scarlett had two major love losses in her life- when her mother died and when Melanie died- both women cut from the same cloth. After each death, she was like a ship without a rudder. Because that love relationship meant home for her. When she discovered at the end of the book, almost like a light turning on, that Rhett had loved her all this time, she ran to him because Melanie was gone and she needed to go home. But he wasn't home for her anymore. It was over.

So the book ends with her reminiscing of Tara, her childhood home, which wasn't the same anymore either, but her Mammy was there, "the last link with the old days."

I wonder if she changed after that. She was only 28, and was mean enough to live to 100. I wonder if her epiphany was lasting, and she stopped being so selfish and greedy. I wonder if she ever discovered that money is not a very kind god to serve, and that people cannot be the savior she needed, but that she needed to love them without wounding them.

So why am I bothering to blog about this? This book is 80 years old. Well, I just read it this week (for the second time), and because I've been mulling over some things.

Home is about relationships. It's not a house or a part of the country, or a city. It's the people you love and who love you unconditionally. It's also things that are familiar (interesting, the word 'family' and 'familiar' have the same root. Never noticed that before).

My kids are often mean to each other. Brothers and sisters fight. You know why? They know they will still be loved, even if they push against that relationship. It's like a safe place to let your inner beast come out- to be the "natural man" that you don't dare show in polite company. I remember one friend, who the more time we spent together, the meaner I was to her. She called me on it, and I realized that I (much like Scarlett) was taking delight in hurting those I loved. I have tried to change this behavior, and hopefully, my sarcasm and biting tongue are no longer my identifying characteristics.

When I had been married and out of the house for about 10 years, my mom sold our old house and moved to a new house in a new town. Matt's parents did the same thing around the same time. So we don't have anyone in our hometown anymore. I thought I would be sadder about this, but when I went to visit my mom's new house in her new town, I realized that for me, home is where my mom is.

Our house was damaged by some rain coming in through the roof this summer, and the night that it happened was very stressful. I was trying like the dickens to keep buckets under every drip, and mop up the water before it did more damage. The next morning, Maia came upstairs and looked at our kitchen and burst into tears. "I don't want to live here anymore! It's not beautiful!"

she got over it.

But our house, while friendly, inviting and comfortable, is not a home. Our family living in it and filling it with love is what makes it home. So we may have to move out for a month or so while the contractors come in and replace a lot of drywall and the floor in the kitchen. It's OK, we'll be together (but it's also going to suck).

I think that's part of the reason I'm struggling a little bit right now with the changes that are going on around here.

OK, so if you haven't heard the big news, Matt has taken a job at Embrace Church here in Sioux Falls, as the Small Groups Coordinator. I think it's going to be a really good fit for him, and he's excited about something bigger than bikes for the first time in a long time.

But it means we have to change churches. And that means changing homes. Mercy has been a beautiful home for me in terms of great relationships with other growing and struggling Christian women. And much like when we left Hanfield in Indiana to move here, the people are the hardest thing to leave.

I know, we still live in the same town, and now there's the power of Facebook to stay connected. But it's not the same.

Thank you to my sisters at Mercy (hahaha! That sounds like a convent). You have shaped me in more ways than I know how to count.

So now I go to a new place. It's not home yet. I don't know anyone there. But I have a reckless way of plunging head-on into relationships, so I don't suppose it will take long. I think all these relationships are such a beautiful foundation in my life, the past, the present and the future. "I'm everything I am, because you loved me....♫•*¨*•.♥•*¨*•♫♪♪♫•" cheesy! But the point remains. Love (an not just romantic love) is what makes life worth living.

So I won't hold back, and I'll open myself up to new friendships, and I'll risk getting hurt. Because it's worth it.

I have to say though... one of the things I look forward to in heaven? Girl time.

Empathy in a Kid is a Beautiful Thing

I think kids are by nature very selfish.

I'm not down on them or anything, that's just how they are. When we are babies, the world revolves around having our needs met, and as we grow, we have to learn inch by stubborn inch that we are not the center of the universe.

Some people have a harder time with this life lesson than others. But we all have to come to grips with the reality at some point.

So when I see a kid show empathy, it really blesses me.

em·pa·thy

–noun

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.
   lf.

I've seen it a couple of times this week in some really sweet 6-year-olds. On Tuesday, a little boy's mom didn't know he was supposed to pack a snack at school. He sits right next to my daughter, so I pulled her aside and said, "Why don't you share your grapes with him?" But before Maia could get to him, a boy from another table came over and gave him half of his Cheez-Its. Maia shared her grapes too, but the unprompted boy sure made my heart smile.

Well, today I had to pick up Maia early from school because she had a dentist appointment. When I came into the classroom, the kids were just getting up from a circle time on the floor where they had been talking about this year's school-wide theme of being "Bucket Fillers." The gist of which is that each of us has an imaginary bucket inside of us, and kind words and deeds fill up a person's bucket, whereas unkind words or deeds are "bucket dippers."

Maia had tears running down her face (I had warned the teacher that she's a crier, and that she made it all the way to the 4th day of school without crying is nothing short of miraculous), so the teacher came over to let me know that just talking about hurtful things made Maia feel bad. She said, "I'm afraid we dipped Maia's bucket, so I need to make sure her bucket gets filled again!" and she gave her a big hug.

Apparently the other students, upon seeing her distress immediately stopped saying bucket dipping things to put on the board, and started saying bucket filling things to Maia to make her feel better.

What a sweet group of kids!

Hauling away the junk

Yesterday, I finally completed the task of bagging up all the yard waste from the terraces for the garbage company to haul away.


I worked for a couple of hours in the early August heat (it was 85º at 9 am yesterday) two days in a row to accumulate 17 bags of yard waste. Yesterday, after all that sweaty, hard work, and feeling pretty good about finally being able to feel like I've finished this phase of the project, I went inside to discover I had a migraine headache coming on.
Oh man! (By the way, this is very similar to what my vision becomes like when I get the beginning of a migraine, only my crescent goes the opposite direction. Just looking at this picture makes me a little nauseous!)

I haven't been getting migraines this last year. It's been wonderful! For the first year since I was about 14 years old, I could drink caffeine if I wanted (which I still didn't do- why bother picking up a vice that you don't have!), or have a glass of red wine every once in a while. I could work myself ragged, and not suffer the consequences the next day... I felt like Superwoman!

The difference has been my chiropractor. I started going last year in August, and only got a migraine once- while we were in Venice over the New Year (MIGHT have been exacerbated by a little too much Venetian wine).

But due to budget cutbacks, we had to stop going to our chiro for the summer (I had the whole family going. We were feeling GREAT!). I am hopeful that once I start working again, we'll be able to reinsert this into our regular schedules. All of us are noticing the difference.

But I digress...

As I was picking up the weeds yesterday, it struck me that these are all dead branches and grasses that have already been pulled, but unless they get removed, the landscape is still yucky-looking. Also, if they don't get removed, and they get rained on a few times, they start to rot and smell bad, and when you pick them up there's all kinds of gross things living underneath them!
It was a lot like therapy for me. I could see these things in my life that I was hanging onto, my past sins, my hurts, the ways people have hurt me, and the ways I've hurt myself and those around me- and I finally picked them up and put them at the foot of the cross. (Well, the front of my garage). There's probably a thousand ways that Jesus is better than the Garbage Man, but they are similar in this, they pick up my junk and haul it away, never to be seen again.

Some of my memories were prickly, and still had to be handled with care. Some were light and insubstantial, much lighter than they were when they had root in my life. Others were hard to break. They had big, thick stems like branches that took a lot of effort to shatter into pieces small enough for me to handle. Some made pleasant smells when I broke them, they were evergreen branches, and they smelled like Christmas. It was a reminder to remember the good with the bad.

For example...

My parents split up when I was about 12 years old. That's a traumatic age in anyone's life, and to add the instability of a broken home to the mix was horrible. For decades, I only remembered the bad about my childhood until a couple of years ago, I was challenged to remember the good. And you know what? It was there! There was a lot of good, as a matter of fact.
Even though it was a rough time, and I came out of it with a lot of scars, the best thing that came out of that time, was that I turned to Jesus and asked him into my life. I believe that he protected me from so many self-destructive behaviors that I could have done. Like the fabric that was laid down under the rocks of my landscape, the roots of the weeds that threatened to choke out the beauty in my life were not allowed to go very deep. The weeds may have shot up, but all it took was a gentle tug to rip those weeds out of the ground, roots and all.

I'm grateful that this project is over. Well, it'll never be OVER, but the hard part is done. Now I get to focus on planting new life. I'm looking at other people's lives (landscapes) and seeing what I like growing there. What do I want to invest in? What do I want to take the time to tend? I'm looking at my terraces and dreaming of a lovely garden instead of an eyesore that I just ignore because the amount of work it will take to control it is overwhelming. I go and visit the area daily to pull out any new weeds, cover it with prayer (Round Up), and dream of what I will plant there.

Friendship Garden

In an effort to celebrate the completion of the weeding portion of my project, I went to the greenhouse just down the street and bought some perennials to put along my front sidewalk.

I was thinking I'd get some bushes for the terraces, but I got there and got overwhelmed with the vast amounts of choices and my minute amount of knowledge! I think I need a consultant!

But some things are a little easier. I chose these 3 plants to put along my front walk because they're pretty. :)

Bell flower
Fall mums
Black-eyed Susans- a name that totally confused my little girl... with good reason, I guess. Why would anyone want to give Susan a black eye?

I figure it's a start, anyway. There's a lot of ground to cover, but these will be much fuller when they come up next year. And I imagine I'll come up with more to put in.

When I was at the garden store, I had to invest in a new pair of gloves. I wore the fingertips out of my old ones!

Tuff Chix gloves are great, and I'm surprised they didn't last longer. But I DID pick out a lot of weeds in the last 2 weeks. Here's the fingertips:
OK, I only wore through 3 out of the 10 tips, but my nails did not appreciate it, so I got new gloves. I hope these are as tough as they are pretty... :)

As I planted today, I was trying to figure out how these flowers applied to my giant metaphor of soul-nurturing I've been using. I came to the conclusion (and this is by no means original or profound) that these flowers are relationships.

Gag!

OK, so I'm not the first to come to this conclusion, but the point is, I LOVE relationships. I love meeting new people, I love hanging out with current friends, and I love renewing old acquaintances.

As I put these flowers in, I had to do several distinct steps. I had to

1. Clear away the rocks- when I make a new friend, sometimes it feels like I have to let down my guard to make space for that person in my life. Sometimes that's easy, and other times it takes a conscious effort.
   
2. Cut a hole in the landscape fabric- when I do this, it makes for the possibility that more weeds will find a place to put down deep roots. I'm trusting that this flower will fill this hole in with beauty. I will have to be diligent to make sure that weeds don't take root near it.
   
3. Loosen the dirt under it & dig out the hole- I don't know how to put an application to this- I use the Garden Claw to loosen the dirt, which is an amazing invention, but as I looked down at it from the top, all I saw was a Swastika ripping up the soil! Don't really want to go deeper into THAT thought! :D
4. Remove the flower from its pot & loosen up its roots- it takes time to get to know people, you have to spend time with them, and they're not going to let you into their hearts immediately. But if you want a friendship to flourish (ha!), you take time to gently move past the surface with people and go deeper.
   
5. Stick it in the hole- again, letting a person into your life.
   
6. Nurture it with a little root stimulator- you have to spend time with people to be in relationship with them. That's why we have so many friends at work, or at church or wherever we spend the most time.
   
7. Repack it with nice, nutrient-rich soil, and close the rocks back in around it. I think of this as welcoming people into the community that I'm a part of. We take care of each other.
   
8. Water generously- all along, rain and water have been symbols for me of the Living Water of the Lord. The best friends I have ever had are my brothers and sisters in Christ-but I did throw some nice juicy worms in with some of them!
   

The best part of this project for me, was that my kids helped me. OK, they just wanted the money for their chores, don't think I don't know that...but we worked together to make something lasting. And you know what? Attitudes have been much better today because they got up early (we did this project BEFORE church this morning), and spent time serving one another.

I can't wait to see how these friendships grow and develop. I love that they'll come back year after year, and only get bigger and stronger over time. And I can't wait to plant more!

Oh... here's the pictures- before (but imagine lots more weeds than this- especially a lot of crab grass along the right hand side)

during (with the plants in the pots above ground):


And after.

The Genesis

In case you're wondering how all this began...

It all started with this devotional, in particular, the application question, "Are there any tasks that you particularly struggle with not wanting to do? Ask God for a new perspective and spend time listening for His voice while you do this job."

Worms on the Sidewalk

Today I finally made it through the worst of the weeding project.

You would think I would feel more relieved... but I have so much more to do.

First of all, as anyone who's ever had a garden knows- weeding is never done. The work I did on day one, well, it all needs to be done again. It's just less noticeable now.

Secondly, next comes the more gratifying- but still challenging work of planting new life where I've torn out all the weeds.

But before I can do that, I have to go through and bag up all the dead stuff I've pulled out so that it can be hauled to the tree dump or whatever it's called.

As I got down to the last 2 short terraces today, most of the weeds were volunteer trees. My analogy for these is addictions. The roots have gone so deep that they'll probably always be there, all you can do is cut them off at the ground whenever they show up again.

Then I realized I had to go one terrace farther down than I thought- all the way to the sidewalk... because the edge where the sidewalk meets the wall is crazy with weeds.

Here's a picture of what I had to do when I was already halfway done (by the way, this counts as the longest terrace because it goes all the way across the property).
And here's what it looked like when I was done pulling it out:
(horrible picture, between my finger over the lens and my shadow in the pic... but I had to use my phone because Matt took the camera with him today, so I'm blaming that)

It kind of looks like I dragged a pile of dirt up the sidewalk- oh yeah, that's what I did.

One of the new elements that I ran into today was comments from passersby. I wouldn't say this is a super busy sidewalk, I had 4 people go past, and one lady went down the hill, then back up about an hour later.

One guy was on a run, he had headphones on and was obviously working really hard. He didn't say anything to me. Two people said something to the effect of "You've got quite a job there!" and the one lady who went down and back was the most encouraging to me. She said, "We've got to start early on a day like today." Because it's going to get really hot today. What was particularly encouraging was that she wasn't expressing what a mess things were, but agreeing that pulling weeds was something we all have to do if we want a well-tended garden. Somehow, she was in it with me, even though she was working on her exercise discipline, while I worked on this particular one.

So my thoughts about this particular level- street ministry.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I not only had to pull my lawn & leaf bags with me up the sidewalk, but I also had to take a trash bag. There were evidences of people- particularly things that people get hooked on- everywhere down there. From obvious addicting substances like empty cigarette packs & broken beer bottles, to more socially acceptable ones like coffee cups and pop bottles.

Not that these things haven't found their way into the rest of the terraces, they have. My driveway acts like a wind tunnel, and a lot of stuff blows over the edge down to the rocks below. I cleaned these things up because I don't want bike tires to get punctured as they pass by. I don't want this crap to end up in the storm sewer (our storm sewers have had a lot of extra stress on them lately, and our rivers are suffering- but that's another story).

Another thing I noticed was that these weeds were particularly easy to pull - it made a very dramatic difference in the appearance of the sidewalk. A lot of time, people who are in desperate situations are very open to God's saving work in their lives. A little love and nurture goes a long way.

The last thing I want to make comment on, is that for the first time in all this work, I was encountering earthworms today. You may think that's really strange, considering I've been working in the dirt for weeks now, but remember- everything I've been doing has had an underlying layer of landscape fabric (salvation). It's made the roots of my weeds not go very deep, making them easier to pull. But there's no earthworms there, and the soil is not very nutrient-rich because of it.

Today, I encountered worms. I don't know why. I guess they could get to the sidewalk from under the wall. They were giving the weeds some nice soil to grow in. Then I ripped out all the weeds- making them homeless. Well, not really- they could always go back under the wall, I guess. I decided to pick them up and toss them up into the upper terraces, trusting they'd find their way to dirt before they baked in the sun.

Because if I'm going to plant bushes and such up there, I'd like some worms to fertilize the soil. I think my life needs a few more "earthy" characters in it. People who remind me that there is beauty in diversity. People who make me stronger by the junk they expose in me. I will be watching for my "Earthworm Jim" superheroes to come my way.
(this is an admittedly obscure reference that probably only my husband will understand!)

But I probably have to get out on the sidewalks to find them.

My Apologies...

Today was going to be my last day out on the terraces, but I didn't make it that far. I was just getting ready to walk down the hill, when I realized that the hill was part of the problem. Not that I didn't know that already, but today was as good a day as any to tackle that little issue.

I had sprayed all these weeds yesterday (covered them in prayer), and most of them were pretty easy to pull. I stopped when I reached the boundary between our lot and the neighbor's, so now it looks like this:

(the crack in the sidewalk at the bottom center of the picture is where
our property ends- as far as I can tell)

I came across a new weed as I was pulling.

I called it a "creeping something-or-other" on my first day, and it got a name today. It was really gratifying to pull, and it had taken over all the rocks on the slope, so that no other weeds really had a chance. As I was pulling it and rolling it up in a big ball, it reminded me of forgiveness (Forgiveness isn't the weed, it's the pulling out of the weed).

I have had a handful of relationships in my life that have benefited greatly from my asking forgiveness. One in particular. We had both been nurturing a decade- long fight, licking our own wounds in our own separate corners, when somebody called me on it. I did some deep soul-searching, and wrote a letter to this person, asking for their forgiveness. To be honest, I had mentally blocked out all the bad things I had done to make our relationship get to the point it had, only nursing those things I felt I was a victim of.

Sometimes asking for forgiveness doesn't do much. But in this case, the ground was prepared on the other person's side as well, and I was welcomed back into fellowship with open arms. That relationship will always be somewhat strained, I'm afraid, but a little forgiveness goes a long way.

Kind of like pulling out those vines. It felt so good to forgive! Even though I HATE taking the steps to reconcile (I fear them, for some irrational reason), it is such a RELIEF to be in a healthy relationship or even just to get an old burden off your chest.

Another example- when I moved back to Sioux Falls, after being away for 10 years, I looked forward to occasionally running into old acquaintances from high school & college. One of those old acquaintances was a former college roommate. We didn't exactly get along very well, she thought I was uptight and judgmental, and I thought going out on a date with a different boy every night of the week was pretty loose behavior (I think we were both right).

ANYHOOO... I ran into said former roommate at the grocery store one day, in about the second year we lived here. We exchanged pleasantries, I'm sure she was really impressed with my 2 year-old daughter who had been at the store with me for over an hour and had behavior more suited to a zoo at that particular moment. We even exchanged addresses and email to maybe catch up with each other, or get on each other's Christmas card list or something. Then we parted, and you know how it is in grocery stores- you keep seeing the same people as you go opposite ways down the same aisles... well we apparently both had regrets that we didn't get out on our first meeting, and the second time we met (2 minutes later), she just burst out saying, "I was a really horrible roommate, and I just want to say I'm sorry!" I said, "I was a really horrible roommate too! I apologize!" We hugged and laughed, and have never seen each other again.

But doesn't apologizing feel good?

I found myself thinking about these two relationships as I pulled out the vines of my Judgmental Attitude today.

My Judgmentalness (is that a word?) almost caused one of my ministry areas to choke and die. This bush represents my heart for women in crisis pregnancy situations:
It is a pretty bush, with lavender flowers, and seems very hardy. It had survived numerous South Dakota winters, but also, when I went out to weed on my first day of work, I pulled gobs of Judgment off of it. I pulled more off today, as well as pruning out the dead parts. This bush apparently prunes itself each year, but someone has to come in and pull out the old dead sticks.

My work at the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Marion, was one of the most fulfilling ministries I ever participated in. I volunteered as a peer counselor there for about 3 years before we moved, and I loved it. I made some wonderful friends, and saw some beautiful life transformation take place.

I have not participated in a para-church ministry like that since coming to Sioux Falls, and I know it's been an area of my life that's been lacking. So, I took the plunge a few weeks ago when Sean from The Community Outreach came to our church to plug his ministry. Get this, I will be helping the working poor get their finances in order! Talk about feeling like a task is too big for you! But I know that God has called me to do SOMETHING, and I decided to obey that little nudge when I felt it.

So here's that ministry's plant:
It's a little baby bush next to the big ol' CPC bush. In time, it will grow and thrive like its neighbor, and will produce beautiful flowers too. That is, if I can keep my Judgmental Attitude from choking it.

Chemical Warfare

Today, I moved to the front entryway of my home, where the weeds also needed to be pulled. (This is not my front entry, but it's kind of cool-looking, don't you think?)

As I pulled the weeds in the rocks there, I observed a few more things. First off: this is not as visible to the general public. I'm not out there to see for every car who passes by. We live on a cul-de-sac, so only my immediate neighbors see what's going on, and only one of them came out during the 2 hours I was out today. This area represents the parts of me that only the people I invite into my life see. Some may be very close, and others I may be meeting for the first time, but they're invited into my life for some reason or another.

I neglect this area almost as much as the terraces, and I never use the front door- only the garage- so it's not great looking out there either. But it is more tended than the terraces.

What that means is, the weeds are shorter- and shorter weeds are harder to pull. You have to push the rocks away to get to the roots so that you can pull them out, but often, they just break off in your hand, making them not really gone at all, just not as visible.

That's where the Round Up comes in.
I've been using Round Up a lot in this whole project, but I used it more than normal today. (BTW- this particular incarnation of the RU sprayer is their best invention yet). There are some things you can't pull out by the roots. Guess what my analogy for Round Up is- prayer. (it's not a perfect analogy, but go with me here).

Remember back on Day 1 of this whole fiasco, when I encountered THIS bad boy?
One of my friends on Facebook suggested I spray it liberally with Round Up before trying to tackle it (I didn't- by the time I posted the picture, the mission was accomplished). Instead, I attacked it, then sprayed the root with Round Up, since I couldn't pull it out. That works too.

But how often do we barge in and try to do things on our own strength, when if we took the time to lift up our burdens to God in prayer, they wouldn't seem as impossible to overcome?

So today, I pulled a lot of crabgrass (bad attitude), Unforgiveness & other weeds like Poison Tongue and Offense out of the rocks. Not all of them came out at the roots, some of them left seeds for later. But then I sprayed all that hard work with Round Up, and hopefully, things will start to improve.

I also went around spraying the cracks in my neighbor's sidewalks. They'll probably never know, but I'm looking out for them too.

One of my friends posted this quote today: "Light attracts bugs." At first, I was like, "well, duh." Then I thought a little about who this friend is, and why she might say something like that. Oh yeah... it's another metaphor.

It is extremely buggy around here right now, Sioux Falls has gotten record amounts of rain in the last 2 months, and there are very few homes that are completely free from water damage (ours came in through the roof, not the basement like most people's). There are also copious amounts of standing water, which is a lovely breeding ground for mosquitoes.

As a result, the last 2 days of work have netted more bug bites and more bug encounters than usual. Not only are bugs attracted to the light we shine as followers of Christ, but bugs are also attracted to the fun we have, trying to ruin it, and the hard work we do- because we get all smelly in the process.

Well guess what, bugs- my chemical prayers work on you too- in the form of Deep Woods Off.

I guess in that respect, I prayed my kids up before sending them off to day camp today. Shine your light, guys!

There are some rays of hope in all this work. My poor tomato plant that was ruthlessly murdered in the name of progress (the roofers dumped layer after layer of shingles on it, breaking it off near the ground), has sprouted new life:
Of course, it's August, and I don't expect it to bear any fruit, but by golly, if it gets blooms, I'm not above digging it up before the first frost and bringing it indoors to finish it's life cycle.

The tomato's neighbors, my chives and garlic chives were also beaten mercilessly, but they're pretty hardy. They are doing pretty well 2 weeks after the siege.
And I've decided to let this one grow here. I've decided to call it "Gentleness." Doesn't it look gentle?

I planted some phlox that hopefully will survive the winter and give us some lovely periwinkle blooms in the spring- like this:
The roofers treated them pretty harshly- setting 2 palates of shingles right on top of them while they worked, but they don't look like they're too much worse for the wear.

So the hope is, that my front entry will be a little more welcoming, and that my "gentleness will be evident to all." It's pretty barren right now.
But hey, I'm a work in progress. :)